Oh, the joys of being a cop reporter and reading an endless assortment of police reports every day. Cops are good folks; they're just not always English teachers in waiting. Here's the gem of the day from Monday, Aug. 22nd:

According to report #200504720, a victim told police his 18-foot car-hauling trailer with wench was stolen from a self-storage location. I asked, and there's no word yet on the wench's identity or what she was wearing when she was last seen. If I find out more, I'll let ya know.